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Sunday, 15 August 2010

Silly Sunday - Facebook

The following is a conversation we had with our Grandbean on Facebook.

Paw Relations: Hello nanny! Can we come and live with you? The service and seating arrangements here are less then desirable

Nanny: You can come and live with me. We have a nice tank full of fat fish for your entertainment and enjoyment, but of course any catawailing and you will be shown the door. Only quiet well behaved pussies round here and of course you need to get on with Syd the house rabbit - we run an orderly house here

Paw Relations: Can you believe that they had roast gammon for dinner and didn't offer us any?

Madam, we have never catawailed in our lives, our mother's brought us up good a proper, taught us how to keep our whiskers clean!

Syd the rabbit will be shown the same indifference with which we treat each other, unless in the unlikely event that there should be a treat or nip spillage, then it is every cat or rabbit for themselves.

Our needs and requirements are few and we're sure that you will find them agreeable.

Food; provided at regular intervals during the day, none of that cheap Sainsbury's own brand stuff. Only Go-cat complete and Whiskas Dental Advance shall pass our lips. After all, as we're sure you'll agree, there is no excuse for poor dental hygiene. Only the Go-cat varieties with the little bone shaped biscuits are acceptable.

Treats should be readily available on demand, three each, unless Lola is in the vicinity then the ratio of treats should be proportionate to her interest in inhaling them.

Fresh water, should be available at all times, for us to ignore at our convenience in favour of the slimy, slightly smelly stuff that collects around plant pots.

Sufficiently comfortable areas on which to nap. Napping is serious business and should not be disturbed, also possession being nine tenths of the law, anything that we're napping on at any given time is ours.

Strokes and chin rubs on demand, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.

A personal door service should we wish to go out, or come in, or go back out again, come in, go out, in, out, in, out.

Appropriate blogging and Internet surfing time. Not only do we have a blog to maintain, but two Facebook pages and a twitter account. Our fans and followers will be expecting their regular updates.

That is all for now.

We await your reply at your earliest convenience.

Thomas O'Toole, Charlie O'Marley and Lola Fannola x

Nanny: Having read your demands I am sorry to say I am a poor underpaid secretary and as such would find it hard if not near impossible to keep you in comfort you have been accustomed to.

I think that all things considered I feel you are best off staying where you are, after all it is only a small inconvenience having to make other sitting arrangements such as for example, a nice warm lap and a cat mad owner, who I am sure loves you very much and would be mortified if you were to transfer your affections all for the sake of a place to sit.

Anyway we are on holiday next week and with no one at home to cater to you needs you would have to go into a cattery, which I am sad to say means you would have to make do with whatever food is on offer and no comfy settee to settle on after a long day of doing feline things.

What do you say? The grass is not always greener on the other side.

Paw Relations: We have taken all the points in your previous message into consideration. We have decided to stay, for the time being.

This is in no way due to the reasonings outlined above, but because it is currently raining outside and when cat fur gets wet, you simply can't do a thing with it!

Aloofingly yours

Thomas O'Toole, Charlie O'Marley and Lola Fannola x


  1. We think you'd be very sad to move away from your lovely humans...

  2. Ah well the grass is not always greener on the other side, Smudge does his fair share of yowling and the fisrt time I heard it I thought he was really hurt. Talk about the cat who cried wolf!!!

  3. Ha ha ha! Y'all don't negotiate do you? I don't blame you for staying where you are because it sounds like you have it pretty good.

  4. A hilarious exchange :-)

    Yes kitties, best to stay put! I guarantee that once away from your lap of luxury, everything else would be mighty pale in comparison!

  5. WE are glad you decided to stay home. Poor Grannie wouldn't be able to keep up with all your demands but none of them are unreasonable. We have the same demands around here. But we have to be fed every 56 seconds.
    Hope you have a super day.

  6. We love the correspondence - your grandma sounds great!

    P.S. Franklin says to tell Lola he likes to inhale treats too.

  7. Haha! We think your demands were too high (even though we didn't think there was anything wrong with them).

  8. don't leave your beans! there are no replacements for the beans.

    We've tried.

    We asked our granny if we could live with her. She said no, she hates cats.

    Nice grandma. Nice.

  9. hmmmm. We find this list to be fairly complete and extremely reasonable. We're shocked your Nanny said "No"!

    Of course we are spoiled beyond all belief, as is our right as Cats.

    We hope your Beans can enjoy their Holiday, knowing you guys are at home, pining away. heh heh.

  10. This is too funny! My feline sisters make similar demands - including that whole thing about beds and possession, meaning they think my bed is their bed and it is NOT!

    Your pal, Pip

  11. We don't fink yoo shud leave yoor loving beans BUT it doesn't do 'em any harm if they see yoo consddring other options from time to time. It keeps 'em on their toes.

  12. It's good to know that you have another place--even if she could not exactly keep you in style... I like the hair.

  13. Well, we think you should insist on being fed cans of Applaws, actually...

  14. LOL so funny, but stay where you are I think.. Hugs GJ x

  15. Wherever you live don't loose contact with all of your friends. Love the photos of you. Is that photo shopped or did some silly human dress you up?

  16. Hmm, sounds like staying put is the best option.

  17. We are with Milo and Alfie, never leave your beans just make them think your planning too so that you can get exactly what you want when you want it...hehe

  18. Love the photo and fun post!...Happy week sweet friends...xoxo...Calle, Halle, Sukki

  19. Oh my gosh, I loved this. You certainly do have a lot of requirements for your Grandma to meet. I think it is best to stay with your present beans who love you. Goodness I hope my furry two don't see your list as I am sure they will decide that they should expect the same.
    Thanks for the smiles that you have given me.


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