I will stop trying to find the few remaining clean pieces of carpet in the house when I am about to throw up.
I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, crabs, etc.
I will not eat other animals' poop.
I will not lick my human's face after eating animal poop.
I will not eat my own vomit.
I will not eat "kitty box crunchies".
I will not eat any more socks and then re-deposit them in the backyard after processing.
I will not chew my human's toothbrush and not tell them.
I will not chew crayons or pens, specially not the red ones, or my people will think I am hemorrhaging.
I will not drop soggy tennis balls in the underwear of someone who is sitting on the toilet.
I will not bark each time I hear a door bell on TV.
I will not steal Mum's underwear and dance all over the back yard with it.
The sofa is not a face towel. Neither are Mum & Dad's laps.
My head does not belong in the refrigerator.
I do not need to suddenly stand straight up when I'm lying under the coffee table.
I will not roll my toys behind the fridge.
I must shake the rainwater out of my fur BEFORE entering the house.
I will not eat the cats' food, before or after they eat it.
We interrupted this usually scheduled post for a MUM Announcement.
I would like to apologise for the serious lack of visiting and commenting on blogs. Currently we're experiencing difficulties with our Internet connection. Some days we only have 15 minutes of connection at any one time and some days we cannot even get on at all. Our Internet Service Provider is currently sending us out a new router and until we receive it we're at the mercy of our broken router. We hope to be back to normal after the 5th!
Thank you for your comments and patience.
The Mum x