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Saturday, 1 January 2011

Happy New Year - Our New Year's Resolutions

Our human will never let us eat her pet parrots, and we're at peace with that.

We will not puff our entire body to twice its size for no reason after our human has finished watching a horror movie.

We will not slurp fish food from the surface of the aquarium.

We will not eat large numbers of assorted bugs, then come home and puke them up so the humans can see that we're getting plenty of roughage.

We will not use the bathtub to store live mice for late-night snacks.

We will not perch on my human's chest in the middle of the night and stare into her eyes until she wakes up.

We will not play Herd of Thundering Wildebeests Stampeding Across the Plains of the Serengeti over any humans' bed while they're trying to sleep.

Screaming at the can of food will not make it open itself.

We cannot leap through closed windows to catch birds outside. If we forget this and bonk our heads on the window and fall behind the couch in our attempt, we will not get up and do the same thing again.

We will not assume the patio door is open when we race outside to chase leaves.

We will not intrude on my human's candle-lit bubble bath and singe our bottoms.

If we bite the cactus, it will bite back.

When it rains, it will be raining on all sides of the house. It is not necessary to check every door.

Birds do not come from the bird feeder. we will not knock it down and try to open it up to get the birds out.

we will not stuff our rather large selves into the rather small bird feeder, with our tails hanging out one side and expect the birds to just fly in.

We will not teach the parrots to meow in a loud and raucous manner. (Too late!)

The dog can see us coming when we stalk him. He can see us and will move out of the way when we pounce, letting us smash into floors and walls. That does not mean we should take it as a personal insult when our humans sit there and laugh.

We will not play "dead cat on the stairs" while people are trying to bring in groceries or laundry, or else one of these days, it will really come true.

When our human is typing at the computer, her forearms are *not* a hammock.

Computer and TV screens do not exist to backlight our lovely tails.

we will not walk on the keyboard when our human is typing important emiongaioerp ga3qi4 taija3tvg aa35 a.

we will not drag the magnets and the papers they're holding off the refridgerator and then bat them underneath so that they stick to the underside.

we will not be miffed at our human all day and then kiss her on the nose at 2:00am to tell her she is forgiven and may now pet us.

Of course, we don't really mean any of that!

Thomas O'Toole, Charlie O'Marley and Lola Fannola x


  1. Sheesh! those goals are a bit optimistic, I can't see you saying no to zoomies over the sleeping humans bed for the whole year!


    Happy new year!

  2. Hmmm... Rumblemum is just going to watch a horror movie, I'll have to try that puff thing... *evil mew*

  3. That is an AWFULLY long list. You might want to cut it down to "We'll get caught less often..."


    The Chans

  4. Those were priceless! Brilliant! Thanks for making our mom laugh so early on New Year's Day!

    We wish you all a very happy new year, with good health, joy, laughter and love!

  5. Haha! I'm sure your human would love it if you kept to those, but really, what kind of cats would you be if you didn't scream at the can of food or give your human 2am kisses? Such (ridiculous, annoying) behavior is part of why we humans love cats. Your snuggling and purring makes up for it.

  6. Fantastic list... And I love the stipulation at the end....

    Happy New Year!!

    pawhugs, max

  7. would be hard to keep those resolutions! Happy New Year to all of you!! oxoxo

  8. BOL!! That's quite a list. Did you really teach the parrot to meow?

    Your pal, Pip

  9. Phew ... that's a heck of a lot of things NOT to do! Good job yoo didn't mean any of it! MOL!
    We'd love to hear the parrot meow ~ any chance of a video? MOL!

    Happy New Year to yoo all!

  10. MEOWZA, you've made lotza resolutions......we've made one each and hope we can live up to them.

    We apologize for not leaving comments lately, but your page jumps around so much that it causes problems for our mama. Please know that we love you and do visit almost daily.......she just can't stay long because of the jumping page.

    We are sooooooo thankful for your friendship sweet friends. xxxxxxxxx

  11. BTW, mama thinks the falling snow is what makes your page jump......about the time you installed it, we started having problems.


  12. Thank Cod you were kidding, what else would have been left?

    May the new year bring you joy, health, and more riches than you can imagine!

    Fin & Mom

  13. Great resolutions! My momma Ellie says that she will resolve to not dash out into the garage when groceries are being brought in the house...but I don't think she'll make it 1 day...


    Happy New Year! Love your graphic today!!!

  14. :D Whew! We were worried until we saw the last line, mol! Your resolutions would be hard, for us at least, to keep!

    We do the same thing with the fridge magnets :).

    Happy New Year!
    Pip, Smidgen, Minnie, and Hollie

  15. your blog looks amazing! I love the changes!

    I think some of those resolutions are definitely attainable...some others....not so much!!! MOL!!!!


  16. HAPPY NEW YEAR !!!
    Sooooooooooo!!!! how many have you broken so far?? heeheehee
    That was funny :)
    Have a fun 2011!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    Purrs Mickey,Georgia & Tillie

  17. Well that's a relief. I thought those were an awful lot of rules for any cat...

  18. Whew - that was quite a list! You worked very hard on it! We loved it very much, and we hope this list makes for a wonderful 2011 for all of you :)

  19. Awesome !!! I love your resolution ! and I bet your mom gonna love these : )

    I wish 2011 will bring love + happiness + good health for you all!


  20. Purry happy mew year to all!

    PeeEssWoo: And a special woof to Shen!

  21. Happy New Year!! I enjoy reading your new year's resolutions. I was wondering if you would achieve these goals...but at the end, I found you didn't really mean them :-) Of course, heh heh.
    I wish you a wonderful New Year!

  22. Nice disclaimer at the end - LOL!

    We know you kitties are just wonderful the way you are and don't need to do any of that stuff!! Sweet friends, we hope that 2011 holds everything your hearts desire :-)

  23. Happy New Year!

    Boy, we thought you might be serious...NOT!

    We're visiting all our friends today..we must fly!

    Luv, The Katnip Lounge Horde

  24. I think blogger just ate our comment...agh!

    We think that you are wonderful kitties just the way you are and don't need to make resolutions like us flawed humans do :-) We love you and wish you a wonderful 2011!

  25. THose would be very tough goals to keep. We are glad you are not going to try.

    Wishing our friends health and happiness in the new year!

  26. Happy New Year

    The Creek Cats and Maggie May

  27. Good resolutions! Happy New Year! :)

  28. Nice resolutions! Wishing you and your family the happiest on new years :) May this year bring you lots of treats and snuggles!

  29. Phew! You had us worried for a while. Glad you didn't mean it.

  30. Theese are funny resolutions! You'z very clever! But of course, you was just joshin' us and your Human! Good job! Wishing you a 2011 filled with Peace + Love + Health + Prosperity!


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