I am greatly displeased! What has displeased me so greatly you ask? That simple four letter word that shall not be spoketh. The V-E-T-S!
You see, I am very much my own mancat and a very manly mancat at that. This is why I do not feel the need for such mushy over-sentimental stuff such as lap sitting and petting. I'm also a wild and rugged mancat, so weather permitting I am usually out and about.
However, since it is lashing down with rain today I decided to take a restful nap on the ironing board. That is when the most dreadful thing happened, The Mum suddenly noticed a bald patch on my side, just under my right front leg. It was looking a bit red and nasty, so she put two and two together and came up with five. Thinking I had been in a fight or a horrible accident she rushed me to the place that shall not be named.
Not before I put up a fight about going in the PTU. I managed to escape briefly only to find the cat flaps either locked or inaccessible. Of course I sang the sad song all the way to that dreadful place, but it was all in vain.
Once we got to the place that shall not be named I didn't want to come out of the PTU, but I was unceremoniously tipped out regardless. Mr Cook the V-E-T subjected me to the most humiliating examination of my life. He then told The Mum that it was not a wound but in fact an area that had been worried. In other words I had licked myself sore.
Mr Cook explained that in cat of my age random allergies are quite common and sometimes it can be difficult to pinpoint what exactly you are allergic to. Since the allergic reaction is fairly minor Mr Cook gave me two injections, (I was extremely mancatly and brave and didn't cry once) one of anti-biotics and one to stop the itches rather then subject me to more invasive and stressful allergy tests. He believes I have something called Hormonal Dermatitis which may have been brought on to by an allergic reaction to food I am possibly getting else where.
Being extremely handsome and mancatly I have several reserve homes where I can eat if I don't like what's on offer at home.
On the journey back home I was very quiet and couldn't wait to get out of the PTU. I was given ham as a bribe for forgiveness, of course I ate it but my forgiveness comes at a much higher price!
Charlie! Keep away from the PTU, it's not safe! Run away, save yourself!
Thomas O'Toole and Charlie O'Marley x
P.S. Whilst The Mum was out taking me to the V-E-T-S, the postman tried to deliver our new internet router. So now The Mum has to go to the big Sorting Office to pick it up!